Jax_A Cocky Cage Fighter Christmas Story Read online

  “What did he do?”

  “He was talking shit…”

  “Talking? You put him on the ground for talking?”

  “About Page,” I finish. “And him.”

  “Oh.”

  “Well, he’s full of shit, right?” Jude asks.

  “I dunno,” I answer honestly. “When I asked Page if she was, you know, screwing him, she never gave me a straight answer.”

  “There’s no way, Jax. Page wouldn’t…”

  “Well, if she did, it would be my fault,” I admit. “She deserves better than being married to a grumpy bastard like me.”

  “She knew you were a grumpy bastard when she married you, so what’s changed?” Jude asks.

  “Everything,” I reply. “Lately, it feels like everything’s gone to hell. She doesn’t talk to me anymore. I know she’s hiding shit, but I just don’t know what. And she was real quick to kick my ass out of the house. Xavier was a mess when I left last night…”

  Seeing his puppy dog eyes fill with tears while he begged me not to go kept me awake most of the night. Then, this morning when Jude woke me up, I was agonizing over whether or not it was okay to call Page about staying with him while she was at work. In fact, I couldn’t get up the nerve to do it, because I was terrified her answer would be a big fat hell no.

  “If you’re having doubts, you know what you need to do,” Jude says with a shove to my shoulder.

  “Choke out every man who steps into her office?” I suggest.

  “Not yet. First, why don’t you hire a PI, you know, to follow her and see if she’s doing any shady shit on the side, which I'm sure she’s not, but it might be good for you to hear that from an unbiased witness who knows for certain…”

  “A PI?” I repeat. Thinking it over, I can’t figure out what harm that could do. I could follow Page around myself, but then she would probably just end up getting a restraining order for my crazy ass. If it’s an investigator I hire, she would never know.

  “Where do I find a PI?” I ask Jude.

  “Hmm, well, Logan knew several when he was working on your case a few years ago.”

  Scoffing, I say, “You think I should ask my brother-in-law for a private investigator referral to follow his sister? No way. Logan would tell her, and it would defeat the purpose of covertly following her.”

  “Okay. Then, when we get home, we can search the internet for who’s in the area and call a few potentials up.”

  “Yeah, let’s do it,” I agree.

  “More productive than beating the shit out of each other,” he replies.

  “True. Dad will be much happier with us too.”

  “Speaking of our parental units,” Jude starts. “Melanie and her family are coming up this week.”

  Melanie, as in our mother who abandoned us a fuck-ton of years ago.

  “So?” I ask.

  “So, she wants to see you, of course, and Xavier…”

  “Dammit,” I grumble. “I don’t care if she sees him, but Page will have to approve it, because I’m not doing shit to piss her off any further if I can help it.”

  “Want me to talk to Page?” Jude offers. “Sadie and I were planning to go over and see her and X-Man this afternoon. I can try and feel her out on the other issue too…”

  “What?” I ask. “You’re gonna ask her if she’s fucking some baseball dickhead behind my back?”

  “Baseball, huh? Didn’t know Page was a fan,” Jude teases, so I slap him upside the back of the head. “I won’t come right out and ask her, but I can see if she acts like she’s hiding something.”

  “She is hiding something,” I mutter. Of that I have zero doubt. Something is going on with her, and she refuses to talk to me. Hell, before last night at the party, I don’t remember the last conversation we had that wasn’t about Xavier. “Fine,” I tell Jude. “Talk to her and report back to me ASAP with everything you discuss.”

  “Will do,” he says when he stands up and offers me a hand up from the canvas. I take it so that we can head out of the cage.

  “Now,” Jude starts as he begins taking off his gloves. “Let’s go find us a good dick.” The other guys around us in the gym freeze and stare. “Not that kind of dick, you perverts!” Jude yells at them. “One of those that chase women around without them knowing.”

  “Doesn’t that really apply to all dicks?” Alex, the billionaire brawler, as the media calls him, speaks up and asks with a grin.

  “True,” Jude agrees, offering the rich boy a fist bump that he hits before they exchange a masculine, one-armed embrace.

  “Good to see you up from NC,” Alex says.

  “How’s married life treating you?” Jude asks him with a tick of his jaw that I don’t really understand.

  “The best,” Alex answers. “Whitney keeps me on my toes. How about you and Sadie? You two set a date yet?”

  “Nah, not yet. She wants to graduate before she thinks about a wedding,” Jude replies with a sigh.

  “That makes sense, I guess,” Alex tells him. “Well, don’t let me stop you two from finding your dick.”

  “Yeah, dick for now, catch up with you later?” Jude asks.

  “Sure. You and Sadie should come by the house and finally meet Chase.”

  “Yeah, definitely,” Jude agrees. “See ya.”

  I don’t miss the fact that Alex didn’t extend the invitation to me.

  “What was that about?” I ask Jude when we set out into the parking lot.

  “What? His son? They adopted a little boy…”

  “No, not that,” I interrupt. “Why did you sound pissy asking about married life?”

  Coming to a stop by my car that’s closest, Jude finally answers. “Sadie won’t set a date.”

  “So?” I ask. “She wants to finish school, right?”

  “Yeah, I know. I get that she wants to graduate before the wedding, but why the fuck won’t she just pick out a date on the calendar?” he huffs. “It takes months and shit to plan a wedding.”

  “Maybe because she doesn’t have time to plan until school’s over.”

  “Maybe,” Jude agrees with a shrug of his shoulders. “Sometimes I just…I just wonder if she’s putting it off because she doesn’t want to marry me.”

  Wow. So at least I’m not the only man around here with insecurities.

  “She’ll come around,” I tell him. “Just let her do her thing for now. You’re both young and should focus on your careers.”

  Right after Page had Xavier she was depressed because she wanted to go back to work but not be under her father’s thumb. That’s when she started taking on contracts for clients, and I could tell how happy she was having that responsibility.

  I get how important her business is to her, I do. That’s why I’ve tried to be the good husband who stays home with our son so she can do her thing. And I love spending time with Xavier, but I feel like there’s something missing. Something more than a withdrawn wife. I need more. More of what, I don’t really know. But until I figure it out, I don’t think I can be happy.

  And just taking a guess, I’m pretty sure Page isn’t happy lately either.

  In a year, when Xavier goes off to school, what the fuck am I supposed to do all day? Wait at home in my apron for my wife and son to come home? I don’t fucking think so.

  I need some sort of purpose and fulfillment in my life.

  So how the hell do I find that?

  Chapter Seven

  Page

  “Merry Christmas, sis,” Jude says when he and Sadie walk up the sidewalk, bundled up in big coats to try and combat the cold. I’m holding the front door open for them, trying to keep the smile on my face. Of course I’m glad to see my brother-in-law and his girlfriend. I just hate that Jax isn’t here too…

  “Hey guys,” I reply, but it sounds weak even to my own ears.

  “No offense, but you look like shit,” Jude says as he wraps me in a hug.

  “I know,” I admit before letting him go and giving
Sadie a welcoming embrace.

  “If it makes you feel better, you look better than Jax,” Sadie tells me softly.

  “It doesn’t,” I reply on a sigh, because I never wanted either of us to be miserable. “Come on in and get warm. Xavier is running around the playroom with Boo.”

  “Aw, I’ve missed that kid,” Jude says when we’re all inside and I shut the door. Sadie and Jude take off their coats, and Jude hangs them on the rack. “Let’s go see him.”

  “Lead the way,” I reply with a wave of my hand. “He’s missed you too.”

  A short walk down the hallway later and I hear Xavier’s squeals of delight before I see him wrapped in a group hug with his uncle and maybe soon-to-be aunt.

  The three of them sit down and talk while playing with the train track for a while before Jude gets up and comes over to where I’ve been watching with my shoulder propped against the doorway.

  “It’s…strange without Jax here,” he says, crossing his arms over his chest to rest his back against the wall next to me.

  “I know,” I admit.

  “So why not call him up and tell him to come over?”

  “It’s not that simple, Jude.”

  “Why not?” he asks quietly.

  “You haven’t seen him lately. He’s different. We’re different,” I say unable to explain it to him. “And then last night…”

  “Did he really knock him out or just hit him a good one?” Jude asks.

  “Preston was unconscious for several long seconds,” I explain. “That wasn’t the cage. It was a party, my party, and Preston is one of my biggest clients.”

  “I know,” he responds with a heavy exhale. “Jax was out of line, I’m sure. But did you ask him why he did it?”

  “It doesn’t matter!” I say in an aggravated whisper. “He can’t go around hitting people for the words they say.”

  “Some words can hurt a helluva lot more than fists,” Jude argues.

  Like the words I’ve been keeping from Jax for weeks now…

  “I get that. I do,” I assure him. “But as an adult, he should be able to handle conversations without physically hurting anyone.”

  “Yeah,” he says on a sigh while watching Xavier and Sadie play. “Are you going to let X-Man see him?”

  “Of course. He’s his father. No matter what happens, I would never…I would never keep him away.”

  “Good. Jax didn’t know,” Jude says. “Can he go back to the house with us tonight? Stay over?”

  “Sure,” I agree, even if I’ll miss him like crazy. “I’ve enrolled Xavier in a daycare near my office. I’ll write down the address and number so you or Jax can take him tomorrow.”

  “Okay,” Jude agrees. “Oh, and Mom…I mean, Melanie is coming up this week with her family. Do you mind if she comes over to see Xavier?”

  “What does Jax think about that?” I ask him in a whisper.

  “He said it’s fine with him, as long as you approved.”

  “Yeah, sure,” I say, getting all emotional because Jax wanted to check with me first.

  Why hasn’t he called?

  I know it’s only been a day, but jeez.

  “Look, I get that Jax can be a pain in the ass and it can’t be easy to deal with him all the time. You and my brother just need to figure this shit out,” Jude says. “You two are both being difficult and stubborn, no doubt, but it’s Christmas! If not for yourselves, then do it for X-Man.”

  My chin trembles as I try to blink away the moisture from my eyes.

  “Crap, I didn’t mean to make you cry,” he says, resting a hand on my shoulder.

  “It’s not your fault,” I tell him as I straighten to go clean myself up in the bathroom. “I’ll be right back,” I say to him and Sadie before I turn around and start down the hallway. The world suddenly tilts though, and I have to throw out a palm to catch myself on the wall.

  “Page?” Jude asks from behind me before he comes around and stands in front of me with his brow furrowed.

  “I’m fine, just got a little dizzy is all,” I assure him.

  “You’re crying and dizzy?”

  “Yeah, it’s nothing,” I say with a wave of my hand.

  “Page, are you –”

  “Don’t, Jude,” I hold up my palm to stop him from finishing that sentence. “Please don’t…”

  “Sorry,” he says, giving me another hug before I finally make my escape to the bathroom.

  Sitting on the closed toilet lid, I roll off a wad of tissue from the roll and sob into it because I miss Jax so freaking much. Not just him physically being here, but I miss the closeness we had together that’s been absent for so long that I’m not sure if we’ll ever find it again.

  Chapter Eight

  Jax

  “Jax?”

  “Yeah, come in,” I call out reluctantly before sitting up on the edge of the bed. My back is ramrod straight with tension wondering how this conversation will go. Sure, I’ve seen my mother several times over the last few years, but it hasn’t gotten any easier. For Jude, maybe. From what I can tell, the two of them talk on the phone and shit pretty regularly.

  The door eases open, and then she sticks her head in, a small, hesitant smile on her face that looks so familiar yet is so foreign.

  “Mind if hang out in here for a while?” she asks.

  “Knock yourself out,” I mutter as I blow out a breath.

  “We went and saw Xavier this afternoon,” she says while taking a seat at the foot of the bed several feet away, giving me space. “He’s so adorable and smart as a whip.”

  “Yeah, he is,” I agree with a grin. “He obviously got that from his mama.”

  “He’s strong too,” Melanie adds. “I watched him pick up the dog that has to weigh almost as much as he does and carry him all through the house. That he got from his daddy.”

  “Yeah, not that it will do him any good.”

  “Why do you say that? Look how far that strength and determination took you.”

  “I’m unemployed with no job skills, so it didn’t take me very far,” I grumble as I cross my arms over my chest.

  “You know that’s not true. Jackson, you were one of the best fighters in the world before you retired. Now that you have, what do you want to do?”

  “No clue.”

  “Come on, hon. There has to be something you want to do for yourself.”

  “I just want to hit people.”

  “Then do that!” she encourages.

  “In case you didn’t get the memo, Page doesn’t approve of the fighting.”

  “She did when you were fighting professionally.”

  “Yeah, well, she wasn’t a fan of the fighting even then and couldn’t wait for me to give it up. Page thinks that if I continued fighting I would be a bad role model for Xavier.”

  “That’s just not true. You and Jude may beat men bloody in the cage, but you’re both perfect gentlemen out of it.”

  I arch one dubious eyebrow in response to that statement.

  “Most of the time. Everyone makes the occasional mistake. But all I’m saying is that you’re young and in your prime with enough money in the bank to not worry about income. If you want to fight, then do it, son.”

  “Don’t call me that,” I warn her through gritted teeth.

  “Fine,” she says, lifting both hands in surrender. “At least think about pursuing what makes you happy.”

  “The problem is that the two things that make me happy conflict. Page doesn’t want me fighting; but without fighting, I’m an asshole to Page.”

  “If you think about it, I’m sure you can come up with a solution that will give you both things,” Melanie offers. “Speaking of Page, she looked…different today from when we were here in the summer.”

  “Her hair’s longer I guess,” I remark with a shrug.

  “No, it’s something else,” she mutters while tapping a finger to her lip. “Is it just me, or are Page’s breasts larger?”

  “Oh my God
.” Jumping to my feet at the rate my blood pressure climbs, I bark at her, “Don’t even fucking start with me on that shit!”

  “Jackson, I’m serious. Has she been more…emotional lately? Maybe put on a few extra pounds, mostly around her waist?”

  What the fuck? Is the woman trying to piss me off by talking about my wife’s tits and weight gain? How dare she?

  “I’m done listening to your shit,” I tell her when I go over and jerk my door wide open so hard it smacks the wall. “Why don’t you just go find Jude? He’s your favorite, right?”

  Lowering her eyes to the carpet, she stands up and says, “Fine. Keep pushing me away like you do everyone else because of your own insecurities. I’m sorry for whatever part I played in that, and I accept that it’s my fault. But one day soon, when Xavier’s sister or brother comes along, you’ll realize just how wrong you were about me picking favorites.” Coming up to me so that she’s only a few inches away, she tells me, “I have four children, and I love you all. I could never pick one of you over the other. But I can’t make you pick me back.”

  As soon as she’s gone, I slam the door behind her, not having a fucking clue what the hell she’s talking about and still angry at her for walking out on us when I was just a kid.

  Why does every woman in my life have to be so damn complicated?

  And why is it so damn easy for them to cut me down and bring me to my knees?

  Chapter Nine

  Page

  “Hi, Preston. Thanks for coming in today,” I tell the baseball player when he steps into my office.

  “Sure, what’s up?” he asks. Removing his coat and hanging it on the back of the chair across from my desk, he takes a seat, crossing one leg over the other.

  “Now that your contract negotiations are all settled, I think it would be best if we, um, sever our relationship, professionally and socially.”

  “Why?” he asks with a frown. “Because your husband hit me?”

  “Jax is…temperamental, and I’m not sure what you said to him the other night, but whatever it was, he snapped. For that I apologize again; he was way out of line,” I explain. “But at the same time, I don’t want him to have any concerns about you and me.”